My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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