your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
