My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I need a burrito and a hug.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
