Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
