No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
