So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
