May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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