so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
