Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
