I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
