There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
