Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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