Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
