Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
