we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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