I hope mine doesn't look like that
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My bed smells like the plague
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
