i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
