I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Everyone says I win the strip club
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
