I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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