I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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