He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
