You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
