When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
