That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
