After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
