A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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