kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
