You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
