i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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