He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
