i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
