Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You are the jesus of drinking
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
