im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
