Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
