eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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