dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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