I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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