I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
