member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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