hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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