I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
