i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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