no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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