There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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