so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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