If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
