You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
