I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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