don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
