note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
