...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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