I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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