Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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